Gasoholics Anonymous

We talk a big game.

I hardly think I'm alone with the charade of going to the local gas station and filling my tank while swearing under my breath with contempt and resentment over the price of gas. Sticking the pump nozzle into my car, I wonder about the possibility of collusion among the oil companies. Watching the dollar amount increase on the little digital display, I consider the relationship between the wars in the Middle East and the price at the pumps. Pulling out my wallet to pay the cashier, I think about just how much worse things are going to get.

Helplessness is filling your tank and seeing the advertised price of gas jump three cents a litre.

We find ourselves cringing every time we turn on our cars. Soon we'll be resisting the urge to turn our engine off when we're sitting at a red light or idling at a traffic jam. And you just know there are parents of low and middle income families forced to decided whether or not they should fill the tank or go grocery shopping. These days they don't have a choice to do both. Dropping ten dollars in the tank and reserving forty dollars for food is not so much a compromise as it is procrastinating the inevitable.

Anymore watching the news is a lot like going to church. We’re told about the impending energy crisis. We’re told that in ten years there'll be little oil to speak of. The news anchor, he says the end is nigh. And then we're told it's all our own fault. We'’re a bunch of pathetic Oil Junkies. Gas Addicts. Apparently we have only ourselves to blame.

Apparently we should be ashamed of ourselves.

But we can hardly be blamed. Our pushers, the oil companies and car manufacturers, keep making our drug better. Slicker, more cool. They keep us coming back for more.

Our dependency on oil, both economically and as a global society, is so profound that the advent of running dry will bring mankind to its knees. There is a great deal of talk about preparing for this life altering time. We talk about it and talk about it and talk about it.

Blah Blah Blah.

Nothing is effectively being done about this impending energy crisis. Not by the individuals and corporations that can do something to make a difference. Leaving us little people frustrated and broke.

But we're creatures of habit. And change means the discomfort of breaking out of the mold.

Yes it's uncomfortable, but think about it. Welcome to a future where oil is the stuff of fairytales that our children will tell their children about. When a family excursion to the cottage up north will be an iron man bicycle sport. Road trips will no longer be reserved for the youthful adventurers but the for elite wealthy. A time when Indy races and NASCAR racing will be extinct. Fossilized ideas of a bygone and primitive era.

Soon, in a future near you, we'’ll be attending recovery workshops in abandoned car dealerships that stink of sweaty salesmen and mildew introducing ourselves to a group of strangers.

Hello. My name is Trevor and I'’m a gasoholic.

Then spend the rest of the meeting telling sorted stories of gasoline abuse while shamefully choking back our tears. Maybe even concluding every workshop with kicking a life-sized effigy of Henry Ford in the crotch.

Cynicism aside, things won't get that bad. We know vehicle dealerships of the future won't consists of the latest pimped out models of horse drawn carriages. We know the transportation industry will adapt for our insatiable consumption demands.

Humans are survivors. We may complain about it but we will adjust and evolve. We will always find new ways. It's what we do.

Consider the upsides. We will be less dependant on receiving our energy source from unstable countries. Car manufacturers will be forced to make eco-friendly vehicles that don'’t look like ugly suppositories. Stop pretending like you don'’t know what I'’m talking about. The influx of electric vehicles will drastically reduce noise pollution. Silent cars will be the new cool.

A future where quiet is the new black.

And considering what we know fossil fuel engines are doing to our environment we should be happy we're running out of oil. There are those that deny that we humans are engineering the demise of our own kind. That global warming and polar shifts are the natural process of this old planet. And they are not all together wrong. The point is that in the past one hundred years the oil driven industrial age has fast-forwarded this process at an alarming rate.

Just ask David Suzuki. He'’ll be happy to tell you all about it.

So, all you fellow gas heads don't just wait for this energy revolution. Embrace it. Demand it. Because it's coming anyway.