Well May was quite the month for killers. First we
had Rudy Eugene eat Ronald Poppo’s face off in a drug induced naked zombie
attack. Then Alexander Kinyua killed his roommate and proceeded to cut him open
and eat his heart and brain. But the guy getting all the attention is the
narcissistic, bisexual, cross dressing, Scientologist porn actor Luka Magnotta.
If that sounds like a made up name that’s because it is. His real name is Eric
Newman. Newman. Like the fat nerd on Seinfeld. This guy takes the cake. And far
be it from me to speculate, but I will.
At first when so quickly after the ‘Foot in the Mail’ story
broke they announced the name of this psycho, I thought, what an amateur. But
once the full story came out it occurred to me that Magnotta had set all this
up intentionally. Because within days he murders his gay lover, eats part of
the victim, sexually molests the dead body and films all of this, uploads it to
a gore site, mails off body parts to the most attention grabbing recipient he
can possibly send it to and immediately jets out of the country. That in turn
immediately involves Interpol and his face is suddenly all over global
international headlines. He’s and international super star killer. I believe
that is exactly the way he wanted it. A person has to wonder too if there isn’t
some psycho friend who he arranged to take him in somewhere in Europe until
things cool a little. He’s probably holed up in someone’s basement in Europe
with the news on 24/7 eating popcorn and slurping soda watching his fame unfold
before his eyes with a big fucking psychotic grin on his face basking in his twisted
glory. This guy isn’t like most psychos. He wanted to be known. He wants the
notoriety. He just didn’t want the prison sentence attached to it. So he made a
plan and stuck to it. It’s known he wrote an entire essay on how to disappear
forever. I mean, somebody please tell me the cops have thought of this. The truly
frightening part is if this guy does get caught and brought to trial in Canada would
he get the same pampered treatment as Vince Li. Remember him? He murdered Tim
McLean on a Greyhound bus then beheaded him and ate him back in 2008. Yeah.
Found not guilty on the grounds of insanity. Well obviously he’s insane!
Anybody who murders someone and eats them is fucking crazy. Doesn’t mean they
should found not guilty. But he’s no less insane than Luka Magnotta. Guess
what, Vince Li’s out on “Escorted Day Passes” now. Can you believe that shit?
Apparently he’s found god. Isn’t that reassuring?
Anyhow, it’s really this rash of cannibalism that’s
attracted everyone’s fascination. It’s not like this is new. Jeffery Dahmer was
eating people before it was cool. But now it’s like the thing to do if you kill
somebody. You have to wonder if there’s some kind of peer pressure involved
with these psychos. Like they’re watching the news and they’re thinking, ‘Oh
fuck me, he ate the guy? Shit. Thanks a lot asshole.’
Next time they kill someone they’re saying to themselves,
‘Fuck, I have to eat this one. I have to do it. I can’t just say I did. I mean,
I would know. I would know. Damn this is disgusting even for me. I don’t even
like meat. This tastes like ass. Oh wait a minute this is ass.’
One maddening thing is all these people saying how much more
horrible society is becoming. What is the world coming to? Religionists say
it’s a sign of the times. Certainly 2012ers must think this is an early
byproduct of their impending apocalypse. But seriously all you have to do is
remind them of Jack the Ripper. That was the 1800’s. He wasn't exactly a kinder
gentler serial killer. Or educate them on the details of the Spanish
Inquisition. Yes they made inquiries…while impaling a stick through your
asshole and out your mouth.
But you have to admit. The world does feel like it’s
spinning a little faster than usual right now. And it has to make you wonder
about who’s living next door.
